Baseball Crack


“The first one’s free!”

You’d think at the ripe age of 45, I would sense the red flags after hearing this statement.  But alas, when it comes to the game of baseball, I’m still a 15 year old kid susceptible to temptation.

Yes, I’m talking about my latest new addiction, Fantasy Baseball.  Not only did my baseball crack dealer get me hooked on one league, he managed to hook me on two, and let me tell ya something, dear readers, it is some kind of hella-addicting.

Not only that, it has changed the way I watch the game.   It’s not unlike the first time I watched “The Wall” whilst stoned outta my gourd.

Suddenly, I give a crap what Brad Hawpe of the Rockies is doing at the plate, that Torii Hunter just grounded into a double play, or that Matt Cain just gave up a game-tying triple.  Aaron Hill pulled a hammie?  Oh crap!  Now I have a reason to give a shiite about the Blue Jays and am forced to learn that the D-Backs second baseman has a girl’s name.

My fandom loyalties are also being tested and pulled in all directions.  While watching Scott Feldman pitch at Rangers Ballpark this week, I found myself secretly rooting against him because he was one of my fantasy opponent’s starting pitchers.  Then again, Feldman is one of MY starting pitchers in the other fantasy league!  GAHHH!!!   Worst of all, I have Mariano Rivera as one of my closers in both fantasy leagues, so I’m now actually rooting for the Yankees when Mo is in a save sitch!

My advice, “Just Say No” to fantasy baseball, it will take over your life.
(I’m kidding, it effing rocks!)

Now please excuse me while I go knock off a liquor store so I can make my dues in the pay league.


Cartoon from here.



  1. Jonestein

    Homer – Yeah, I actually picked up Milty very, very, late in my first draft, figuring he might return to his ’08 form with a return to the AL. But after watching him swing at the ball and striking out like he was shooing away gnats, well, let’s just say he isn’t taking up valuable space on my roster anymore.

  2. devilabrit

    I have resisted the fantasy temptation, others have warned of its addictive behavior and the impelling need to wish harm to those you thought you loved, the fact that given the chance you would steal from your own mother to better you highs given the chance…. I must resist….

    Phillies Outside

  3. diamondgirl55

    Hahaha I agree, fantasy baseball DOES rock! 🙂 My team consists of mostly the Mariners….which I thought was going to be the most amazing idea as they were supposed to be the best team ever this year but….alas, my fantasy team SUCKS right now. Oakland and the Rangers tore us a new one. The word LAME doesn’t even do it for me, it’s so much more than that. SIGH. I hate Milton Bradley. He flipped off the crowd at your park, did you see that? I don’t condone that sort of behavior from a professional athlete on my team!! hehe xoxo

  4. bklyntrolleyblogger

    Too Late.

    Hello. My name is Mike…and I play fantasy baseball.
    Prospective sponsors inquire within.

  5. Jonestein

    Jeff – You are eeeevillll!

    Peter – Right now I’d trade my dearly departed mother for a top 10 outfielder with power.

    DG – I wouldn’t exactly call Milty a “professional”…lol. I had him on one of my fantasy teams but quickly dropped him. I still have Ichiro and Figgins on that team though, and you’re right, your guys aren’t exactly living up to the offseason hype. Oh well, first month is pretty meaningless, hell, KC and the Nats are actually playing ok ball. :^)

    Mike – FBPA Crowd Response: “HELLO MIKE!”


  6. raysfanboy

    I didn’ tknow how addictive fantasy baseball was when I started 3 years ago. This is my 4th year doing it. I am watching games with the Rockies and Padres just to cheer on Ubaldo Jiminez! Crazy! I am proud to say I have not finished anywhere other than 1st place, and sad to say that it is due to the fact that I am addicted to checking stats whenever I can (I’ll be doing it right after submitting this comment–HELP!!).

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