So I’m perusing the MLB page on ESPN.com and I run across this article:
…which is contrary to everything I was brought up to believe in the Teams-I’m-Supposed-to-Hate Department.
Naturally, this inspired me to write something, seeing as how it meshes two things I love:
1) “Hating” things.
2) Writing lists of things I hate.
Now, a quick disclaimer before I get the hate train a rollin’ – I don’t really “hate” anyone, at least in the watch-them-suffer-and-die meaning of the word. Yeah, I rail on religion and leftist politics and politicians, but I would never seriously do or wish harm on anyone (yeah, yeah, I’ve blustered about wishing a quick and expedient expiration for certain politicians and religilous figures, but that was just blowing off steam). Truth be known, I’m actually just a big cuddly teddy bear.
Anyway, when it comes to “hating” sports teams, it’s the fun, rival kind of hate. Yeah I may have some serious problems with some of the actions of certain teams and players, but there exists no true hate. So please don’t take it personally if your team shows up on my Hatedar, it’s all in good fandom fun.
Now that all of that preamble filler is on the table, here we go:
BAPL Top Hated MLB Teams
1. New York Yankees
From a fiscal, Capitalist, money-making mo-fo perspective, I love these guys. But they are the Yankees, and as I stated in a previous blog, I’m genetically predisposed to despise Yankees, given my southern roots. Also, from a fandom perspective, the Yanks are like that bully in school that always picked on you. Not only could he beat your a$s, no matter how hard you’d fight back, he also just happened to be a filthy rich bully who would beat your a$s then drive off in the BMW mommy and daddy bought for him.
2. Los Anaheim Angeles of Los Californias de Leftiste Coastas
They are the Yankees of the AL West with their deep pockets, always bullying my Rangers. Plus, they reside in the People’s Republic of Kalifornia. Plus, they can’t make up their mind what to call themselves. Plus, their uniforms are ugly. Plus, Vladimir Guerro is a…wait, he’s one of us now, never mind.
3. Washington Natinals
This is pure hate by proximity. I hate Washington D.C. and our bloated, overreaching, liberty snuffing federal government. The Nats, well, I liked ’em just fine when they were playing in front of the dozens of Expos fans back in Montreal.
(Side note: Needless to say, I’m f**king giddy that the Habs knocked out the Caps in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs! <Nelson> NYA-HA! </Nelson>)
4. Cincinnati Reds
I hate their colors and uniforms, otherwise, they barely even exist in my baseball world.
*Update 4/30/10* – I just signed Mike Leake to my fantasy team, so the Reds, for now, exist a little bit more in my baseball world. Mr. Leake could potentially help remove his team from this list if he starts getting me some lucrative points the rest of the season.
5. Toronto Blue Jays
I have no idea why I hate this team, other than their ugly-as-hell powder blue throwback unis.
6. Kansas City Royals
Back in the early 80’s, when they were in the AL West, the Royals were always knocking the Rangers out of contention and I’ve hated ’em ever since. Now I just hate them because they suck and they’re wasting Zack Greinke’s best years because of said suckitude.
7. Detroit Tigers
Because they have the Rangers number for some weird reason and they are Allen Krause’s favorite team. ;^)
8. Baltimore Orioles
Another aesthetically rooted hate. Their unis and team colors are hideous. Plus, seeing Jim Palmer’s alien-like bronze skin on TV during the ’79 World Series traumatized me as a kid.
9. Oakland A’s
Because when Los Anaheim isn’t hogging the AL West crowns, these guys are.
10. Florida Marlins/Arizona Diamondbacks/Colorado Rockies/Tampa Bay Rays
This is pure petty hate, I actually like all of these clubs, especially the Rays and Rockies. I’m just bitter that these recent (to 45 year old me) expansion teams have managed to come into the league and make it to the World Series whilst my Rangers haven’t even won a damn ALDS series. *grumble*
Happy Hate Day!
Image from here.