I’m in one of my writing funks, dear readers, so please bear with me as I attempt to stir up my muse using that time-honored writing stimulus technique of b!tching about petty things totally out of my control.

Let’s start with one of my favorite petty issues: hearing a professional sportscaster “clarify” to the audience that he’s referring to the New York “football” Giants. 

Curt Menefee was kind enough to clarify this Sunday on the FOX NFL Today show.  NEWSFLASH, CURT: The New York “BASEBALL” Giants have been in San Francisco for over half a century now…I think we’ve figured out that the only Giants team in New York are the “football” Giants…and they’re actually in New Jersey! 

Ok, let’s see, what else can I gripe about in lieu of actually writing something…hmmm…gonna have to resort to list format:

1. Marlon Byrd is now a $15 million dollar Chicago Cub.  I do not understand why the Rangers, even while in ownership limbo, couldn’t have inked the same 5mil/3 year deal for this guy.  He kicked a$s in center field in 2009, is a fan favorite, he actually LIKED playing for the Rangers…again, I just don’t get it.

2. Best line re: Xmas gift-giving I’ve ever heard, courtesy of the Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper: (Reacting to the knowledge that Penny is going to give him a Xmas gift) “You haven’t given me a gift, you’ve given me an obligation!” 
As you may or may not know, I effing hate Christmas, and not for the pseudo-religious reasons.  Hell, I despised the holiday back when I was a delusional Christian.  Sheldon’s line pretty much sums it up.

3. The Dallas Stars are stuck in mediocre mode.  I suspect this has something to do with the fact that they are owned by the same moron who owns the Texas Rangers, Tom Hicks.  Tuesday, they beat the Chicago Blackhawks, currently the best team in the NHL, followup with a win against Anaheim, then totally flub against Vancouver.  They’ve managed to beat the “best team in the NHL” (NJ, San Jose, Chicago) at least 3-4 times this year, but have yet to put together a win streak larger than two games all year.  Naturally, I pick this year to start following hockey.

4. Despite Sunday’s big win over Philly, I’m still skeptical about the 2009/10 Cowboys.  After a decade of constant post-season flops, most of us here in Big D are in “Believe it when I see it mode.”

5. The Dallas Mavericks got absolutely destroyed by the Lakers last night.  It was a complete embarrassment…I had to turn it off.  The Mavs, like the Stars, have been horribly inconsistent this year. 

Speaking of the Mavs, I absolutely HATE their new ’09/’10 alternate uniforms.  They are no doubt trying to tap into the “North Carolina Gangsta Light Blue” Market with these latest abominations.  These are only slightly less hideous than the green ones from the last few years.  Please, Mr. Cuban, nuke these awful things and stick with the at home Whites and the Midnight Blue Road unis.

Yeah, yeah, it isn’t quite the same light blue (it’s darker in this pic for some reason), but I’ve noticed a rash of teams adopting a lighter blue as one of their main colors of choice.  My theory is that they are indeed trying to tap into the NC Gangsta Blue market, and the Mavs new alternate unis are just the latest entrant into said market.

Ok, this isn’t working.  Will Pitchers and catchers kindly report to Spring Training?  I need something to blog about.

–Jonestein